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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Britney was on to something...

Do you remember not too long ago when a photo of Britney Spears emerged of her in a barber shop, with a slightly certifiable look in her eye, shaving her own head?  People were outraged, thought she was insane, laughed at her, mocked her on various talk shows, but what people didn't realize is that she was on to something.
I would find it quite liberating to buzz my hair off. I thought of this today as I was getting ready.  From 5:30 a.m. to 8:15 a.m. every second of each minute seems to have an albeit trivial, purpose in my morning. As soon as my feet reluctantly hit the floor I'm doing something for someone else, pulling underwear down, pulling underwear up, filling a sippy cup with ovaltine, no apple juice, no grape juice, placing vitamins next to breakfast bowls,  pouring cereal, dumping uneaten cereal in the sink, burning my hand on a pop tart, spitting on my hand to smooth hair, putting toothpaste on toothbrushes, feeding the dog, giving the dog a vitamin, making coffee, changing the channel to Maggie and the Ferocious Beast, changing a diaper,  making 3 lunches, burning my lip on coffee, tucking shirts in, ignoring stains on uniform shorts, finding my husbands wallet, finding my husbands cell phone, stepping on a lego and then I get a chance to step into the bathroom with my chocolate lab underfoot.  He insists on being in the bathroom with me, it is his feeble  attempt to escape the chaos outside the door, as well.  He looks at me as if to say..." this is not what I signed up for 10 years ago when I joined this family" we have an understanding...As I stand in front of the mirror I don't know if I'm going to have a solid 5 or 10 minutes to get myself ready. I look myself in the eye for about 2 seconds and try and decide if I can get away with not washing my hair today, which would save me  a good four minutes.
Britney Spears was a genius.  Of all the things I could or should be thinking of, this is what runs through my head.
I pull my hair back tight and actually consider for a moment what I would look like with a buzz cut.  I certainly don't have the bone structure, but maybe.. I... could pull it off.   As I place my blonde nest of frizz in a knot on top of my head and step in the shower, I seriously eye ball the razor and think.....
I'm then jolted out of my morning fantasy by Jack who announces that he prefers Yo Gabba Gabba to Maggie and the Ferocious beast and that his brother, Oscar is demanding that I change the channel...even though Oscar is 4 months old.
My shower time is over.  I didn't wash my hair today and it looks anything but professional in a pony tail, but for a moment Briney Spears and I saw eye to eye.

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