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Friday, January 7, 2011

We are apart of a Turbin-ation.

Growing up I was self-conscious of my nose. Not only because of its size, but because I could never really breath properly.  This combination is very not fortunes.  Its like if you are self-conscious about your mid-section and you would wear a belly shirt.  I sound nasally. This prompted many teachers to ask if I needed a tissue, to ask if I had a cold etc.  And ultimately provide a big read target on the part of my face I was most self-conscious  about.  I broke my nose playing sports when I was younger and I'm confident that did not help my problem either. I went to an ENT and they said my septum was just fine, but that I had allergies. I went to an allergist, and they discovered I was allergic to dust. I remember my mom being disappointed at this. I think I could here her praying that I was allergic to cats so we could give ours away. And my brother could stop getting allergy shots because he was allergic to my cat.  My parents are OCD dusters, so they were insulted that dust was the culprit. But honesty, isn't everyone allergic to dust? So I continued on my way and finally at 33 my famiy doctor exclaimed after looking up my nose, "you have the largest Turbinates I have every seen, How do you breath?!" I only understood half of this exclamation because she is Polish and I thought she said turbines, but I explained that I have never been able to breath, and that I have just gotten used to it.
Just like that little dog named Faith on Oprah, she didn't have arms, so she learned to hop like a rabbit. I, just like Faith, had learned to work with my disability.  I sleep with my mouth open, I take breaks while eating. I don't like kissing. In yoga I pretend to take deep inhales threw my nose. When I watched shows about people being kidnapped and having their mouths taped shut, I figured that if that was me, I would be dead 2 minutes after the tape was placed...not a fun victim.
If you have not brushed up on your nose anatomy, Turbinates divide the nasal airway into three groove-like air passages –and are responsible for forcing inhaled air to flow in a steady, regular pattern around the largest possible surface of cilia and climate-controlling tissue. ( insert footnote for wikipedia here). 
They never remove them, they just reduce them.  In all honesty, I hadn't really thought of this proceedure until the day prior. I had scheduled it but thought it was not going to be bid deal. Arriving however, I got the gist that any surgery that they completely put you under is kind of a big deal.  They inserted an IVand escorted me to the surgery room, as soon as I entered I had flashbacks of my last c-section which did not go well, but that is another post all together. The layed me on a narrow table and strapped my arms down also. This is when I freaked a bit.  The nurse explained that for my safety they needed to restrain me, and I politly said for my sanity they needed to let my arms free. She did, but told me that once I was out (which  she knew would be in 2 min.) she was going to put them back.  
So I came out of surgery, fine (arms placed back on my chest),  it went well, it wasn't until the next day when I told my husband (non- dramatically) of course, that it felt that ice picks were being gouged into my head and that I was going to puke.  What is funny about that comment is that I don't recall ever even seeing an ice pick and I don't have the foggiest idea what it would feel like to be placed in my skull, but it was the proper visual that I was trying to portray to Don. It turns out that it was the result of the pain medication. Once I stopped that, I was fine. The good side is that I lost the 3 lbs of chocolate I had gained during the holidays! 
I thought about this genetic turbinate disability card I had been dealt and pondered the reason why.  It wasn't until an evening in my home, I felt that perhaps my decision to correct the problem was wrong.  Why? You may be thinking. I'm the mother of 4 boys, 1 lab and 1 manly husband who all enjoy Mexican cuisine, even if the cuisine does not love them back.  Up until this point, they have lived with for all intents and purposes, and nose blind person. I didn't have a sense of smell like I do now.  If a smell can accost you, I felt detained by my newly discovered 5th sense.. So a lesson of the wise, before you fix something that you feel is "wrong" with yourself, maybe God made you that way for a reason, in my case 5 reasons. 

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