Let me explain the situation. My husband's family was visiting for Thanksgiving. It was a full house filled with copious amounts of food and people. Thankfully wine also. My attention was not exactly focused on my boys. In fact, I can't really remember seeing the older ones for three days, except at the dinner table.
I thought the visit went really well, but on the Sunday after Thanksgiving the bank called us at home. They said our account had been compromised. They listed the charges and I told them that they were absolutely fraudulent. I worried a bit, but figured it was taken care of and went about my business of listening to my mother-in-law talk, eating, eating and more eating.
Then it hit me like a wrecking ball. (thank you Miley Cyrus). The charges were to iTunes. When we set up my son's iPod touch, we used our card to purchase a few apps. We never took it off. Monument dumb mistake. I immediately approached him in private and asked him if he had downloaded any apps. He admitted that he had, but thought it was going to the gift card. (the gift card that probably ran out of funds 6 months ago). I tried so hard not to flip out, but made him very aware that I was mad. Even kicking a pillow for dramatic flare. I told him he was going to need to pay back the $75 dollars and he was grounded for 2 weeks.
I was angry, but thought it was a learning experience. On Monday I got to work and checked my account. What I saw will give me nightmares for a long time.
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So many charges I couldn't see strait. When he said he had downloaded apps I thought it was maybe five. This was a list a mile long. He was playing a game and apparently every time it asked if you wanted to purchase a life or token he said yes.
I called my bank in a complete panic. They said they were continuing to post from the previous day and I needed to call iTunes. If you have tried calling iTunes before you will know that you would have better luck getting Jesus on a direct line.
Finally I reached an actual person named Kevin. I explained the situation. He looked at our account and was as shocked as I was. He asked if I knew the total. I said, at this point, it was probably around $200. He took a deep breath and told me it was $1265!
Let me write that again for emphasis. Twelve hundred sixty five freaking dollars. I'm not an openly emotional person, but I started to cry. Panic. Cry. Poor Kevin. He tried to console me. And then a Christmas miracle happened. He told me that would refund it. 100% of it. I couldn't believe it. I didn't ask him to, he just knew it was an honest mistake. He also told me that he could see how a 10 year old could be misled in this particular game.
My relief was quickly overcome with what was now rage towards my son. I wanted to call his school and get him on the phone. I wanted to drive there and pull him out of class. But to say what? He already knew I was mad. I was forced to wait for the next 8 hours and either simmer or cool off. I could have gone either way.
Thankfully for my son I cooled off. When I spoke with him at home I was surprisingly calm. I mentioned that what he did was very irresponsible and that he needed to earn back every penny. I told him that he spent money he doesn't have and has nothing to show for it. I didn't tell him the total, but told him it was more than he could make in the next 10 years with his chores.
We decided that he wasn't going to pay us back, but rather forward. He needed to do hours and hours of service. Whether that means helping an older person shovel their walkway, or helping out at the church. He agreed.
He also is grounded from his iPod touch until some undecided time in 2014.
Surprisingly it opened up a conversation about addiction. He explained that when he was playing it, he felt like he couldn't stop. He realized he should and kept going, and then was shameful for what he had done. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't admit I have been in similar situations. I understood. It may not have been a video game, but I have felt out of control in other areas in my life. Addiction runs in our families. Maybe having this little nugget of information will help him when he is tempted as an adult.
Parents have to learn to deal with their child's indiscretions. Take some responsibility for them. Even major ones. Each convicted felon has a mother. She has to find it in her heart to forgive even if she knows her child is guilty.
This morning my son got ready as usual and the extra time he would have spent playing his iPod was spent helping his little brothers get ready for school.
In less than a week I have witnessed tremendous growth not only in his stature, but in his character and you can't possibly put a price tag on that.
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