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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Girl Power

We have friends whose daughter is our son Jack's best friend. I don't remember when they became best friends, all I know is that they are addicted to each other's company like crack.  They are a lot alike and nothing makes Jack happier than the thought of having her over.
Last night her parents asked if we could babysit for a couple hours. I didn't share this information with Jack until the last possible moment.  When I told him,  rainbows shot out of his eye sockets. I really meant it when I said she is like Jack's crack.

We set the table for dinner and  Jack and Oscar came to fistacuffs about who was going to sit next her.  We set her placemat in the middle (God help her).  Jack searched for anything pink he could find, which he was unsuccessful so he settled for red.

I must admit, I was kind of excited to have her over too.  Having a boy dominated house can be exhausting at times.  I forget that a girl can bring a different energy to a room.  Not a less vibrant one, just different.  She is the same size as our 3 year old but 2 years older. But, Oscar is a really big kid.  This confuses him and he thinks she is his friend and not Jack's. Hence, the fisticuffs.

As we sat down to dinner, she was bombarded with flying questions. Each of the boys went crazy. Its not like we haven't ever had a dinner guest, but the fact that she was a girl changed everything.  Each of them, even our 10 year old was fighting for her attention but in different ways.  The oldest wanted to say something cool, like, "I can eat an entire chicken". The middle stated the obvious "You look like your sister".  Jack was trying just as hard in his own way by pointing out the cup he chose for her. And Oscar's tactic was the most obvious and coincidentally least effective. He just kept repeating her name over and over and louder and louder while poking her with his finger.
She is the youngest of four and this did not phase her in the slightest.  I'm sure she is used to being the center of attention too. She commands it.

Don and I just sat, shocked at these four caveman that we created, fighting for the attention of a five year old girl.  She amazingly answered all of their questions simultaneously, at least in a way where they all felt satisfied.

I started to see the power that she had.  When this little girl spoke, the boys listened.  I am mystified as to when this stops happening… but it does.  I discovered in high school that I could get more attention with my body than my words.  I wish someone would have told me to not rely on that. Because as we all know, your body fades but your voice doesn't.

When does a woman grow up and start apologizing all the time? When does she feel the need to be polite rather than speak her mind? When does she start believing that she isn't smart? How is this little girl reminding me that the best qualities a woman can have are the same ones she possessed when she was 5?

I wanted to bottle her confidence and drink it myself.   After a long 7 minute dinner the boys scattered around the house.  She and Jack played with Oscar as their shadow.  When it was time to put on their pajamas I dug whatever I could find and gave it to them.  As long as it has a cape Oscar is cool with just about anything I chose.  I could lay out a pile of garbage in the shape of pajama pants and Jack wouldn't care.  I didn't want our guest to feel left out so I offered her a pair of  teddy bear jammies. She took one look at them, looked at me, and said " I don't like those".  She didn't feel the need to apologize for her opinion, she just stated it.  She also didn't feel the need to put on pajamas because everyone else was. She was comfortable just the way she was.

God didn't grant me with a baby girl.  I don't know why.  But what I do know is that I can be the best role model of a woman that I can be for my sons. I will strive to do my best to not apologize for who I am, to be comfortable in my skin and to speak my mind.  I will also show them that despite the media insisting that being a gentleman is a sign of weaknesses, that it does just the opposite. It  makes you stronger.

My hope is that she never loses her magnetism or ability to speak her mind. And that Jack stays in touch with her, at least through junior high.

She may be little but packs a powerful rainbow punch.


  1. What I am hearing is you want me to drop Jill off tomorrow night? Hell you can even have her on Thursday too!

  2. Absolutely! I heard she has some great dance moves.

  3. Another awesome blog! Thanks, Noelle!