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Friday, December 19, 2014

Are you Flirt worthy?

I was waiting for my name to be called at a coffee house.  Sometimes it’s Nicole, sometimes Nora, on rare instances Norma. But once in awhile they get it right. In a chocolaty baritone voice I heard, “soy latte with an extra shot for Noelle.”  I wasn’t going to complain, but I hadn’t ordered an extra shot. I looked around in the unlikely chance there is another women with the same name and the same dependency on soy lattes behind me.  When I glanced up a very attractive man smiled and handed me my coffee.

It had been awhile, but I was pretty sure he was flirting with me.  I felt guilty for not paying for the extra shot despite the fact that over the past decade I have spent my children’s college tuition on coffee. I explained that I hadn’t ordered a triple shot and I should pay for it.  
To which he replied, “I thought you would like it.” and winked. I snorted, turned red and quickly headed out the door.

It was the sexiest latte I have ever tasted.  He was right. I did like it.  I wanted to savor every single sip because that simple gesture had made my day, and I’m not ashamed to say, my week.

I think it was after my second son was born that I felt invisible to any male over the age of two.  After my fourth son was born I started driving a minivan and became invisible in general.  But this guy had noticed me.  Maybe he saw the bags under my eyes or the look of exhaustion and giving me an extra shot was a favor, but at that moment the reason didn’t matter.

I’m not an ugly woman but I don’t have the type of beauty that makes a room full of people turn their heads.  My beauty kind of sneaks up on people after knowing me for a long period of time and then one day they look up and notice that I’m kind of cute, in a girl-next-door way.  A long way of saying, I don’t get flirted with often.

When I got in the car I turned the review mirror to look at my reflection and when I saw it, I didn’t see the exhaustion, I saw the sexiness of motherhood.

I know I don’t need a stranger’s opinion to feel attractive or worthy and that beauty is subjective, but damn, it made me feel good.  Sexy is a state of mind.  In today’s world flirting is done behind a technological curtain.  A flirty message or text is nothing compared to someone looking you straight in the eye and acknowledging your beauty regardless of what you look like.

The truth is, every single person is flirt-worthy. Especially, if it makes someone who feels invisible, suddenly feel visible.

To me, flirting is like choosing the medium salsa on my burrito rather than the mild.  It’s taking a relatively safe risk out of my comfort zone, but not going so far as to choose the extra hot salsa, which I would regret later.  

Flirting is easy.  It is eye contact that lingers 3 seconds past the comfort zone. It is whispering something in your partner’s ear instead of saying it out loud.  It is a smile for no reason.  And it is equally as empowering for the giver as it is the receiver.

It gives us an edge where we feel we have gone a bit soft.  

The simple act of a guy winking at me and giving me an extra shot made me suddenly hot and gave me espresso-fueled bravado, which I carried home with me. 

As we navigate through our daily lives we tend to take the familiar path, and miss the scenery.   There is beauty in all shapes and forms around us.  Taking a little extra time and acknowledging it only brings out the beauty within us.

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